grandma shit on top of the toilet
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
