yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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