I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Of course I have a pirate flag
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
