My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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