some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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