you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
