thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
