I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize