so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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