And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
