if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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