just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
