Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
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Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
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if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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