I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
