i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
