last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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