Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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