And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
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Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
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When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.