Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!