i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
