I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
