well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize