Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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