I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
wakey wakey hands off snakey
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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