She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
