Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
