Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
is wine microwaveable?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
