dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
