Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
