guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize