I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
