I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
