Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i permit you to call me
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP