i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
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i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
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He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam