Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.

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  (202): i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left. http://tfl.nu/4tq4
  Replies (10) Good night (1054) Bad night (2614)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.

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  (404): I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now. http://tfl.nu/90oh
  Replies (11) Good night (3013) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college

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  (631): our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college http://tfl.nu/4e15
  Replies (17) Good night (7453) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.

  (1-818): View more from California

  And this was for your brother's Christening?

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  (818): It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons. (1-818): And this was for your brother's Christening? http://tfl.nu/dxaq
  Replies (9) Good night (3663) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else

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  (785): Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else http://tfl.nu/imin
  Replies (8) Good night (2721) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.

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  (812): I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me. http://tfl.nu/7p9m
  Replies (3) Good night (4466) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?

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  (708): what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit? http://tfl.nu/d2ae
  Replies (15) Good night (3233) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.

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  (631): using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here. http://tfl.nu/lsdl
  Replies (5) Good night (2001) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.

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  (985): Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me. http://tfl.nu/35pb
  Replies (6) Good night (1576) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"

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  (630): For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey" http://tfl.nu/xp9h
  Replies (19) Good night (770) Bad night (2879)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.

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  (402): I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack. http://tfl.nu/jydf
  Replies (6) Good night (2605) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.

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  (214): I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this. http://tfl.nu/v16y
  Replies (0) Good night (572) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.

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  (302): We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark. http://tfl.nu/uofm
  Replies (10) Good night (804) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.

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  (860): 6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever. http://tfl.nu/56gz
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.

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  (973): Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police. http://tfl.nu/4iv8
  Replies (0) Good night (807) Bad night (220)

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