actually, I'm a sock model
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count