She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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