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• (207): View more from Maine

  Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper

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• (916): View more from California

  The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (518): View more from New York

  Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.

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• (716): View more from New York

  If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.

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