Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
