Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
