ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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