This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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