i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
