were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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