that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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