This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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