So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
