I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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