nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
