So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
