When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
