He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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