it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
