I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm really busy with my period
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
