I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
