He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
