I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
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I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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