Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
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I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
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My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Drunk is not a location!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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