how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
