he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
