Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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