We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
