This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
