Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
