i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
