party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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