why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
