Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
