He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
